Aiyyo whassup E man?
Yo coolin PMD
True true man, I just been lampin man
So what you been up to lately man?
Just been loungin man, knowhatI'msayin?
True true man, yo man, who's your boy over there man?
Oh that's my man from out of town
Oh word man?  Yo whassup man?  My name is P man
How you doin man?  My name is Frankie Anto man
But my friends, they call me Frank B
Oh word man?  Nice to meet you man
So yo man E, what you gettin into tonight man?
Yo P man I'm bout to flex downtown to this club
Word man?  Yo man, that sounds cool man
I think I'm with that man - yo you wan' do that?
Let's do this man
Aight bet man
Yo, yo hold up wait a minute guys man
You guys mind if I go witchu to this club man?
Ahah aiyyo man E I don't know about that man
Last time we took somebody with us man
we had to carry him home man, he got out of control
The whole nine yars, yaknowhatI'msayin man?
Nah man, that's not me man, I can handle my liquor man
I just go to have a good time and DANCE man
Drinkin is no problem to me, stuff tastes like fruit punch
Are you sure man?
Positive man -- positively positive
Aight man, l-let's take him then

We went out that night
To a club downtown
That was very high class
And had boomin sounds
We went in
And we were dressed to impress
Fly women and girlies
Lookin their very best
We took a seat at the bar
Feelin brand new
Frank ordered drinks, no liquor
Just plain old brew
He finished it
Then he ordered one more
And another
And another
And that made four
He seen this fly girlie
Suave and deboinaire
Light skinned complexion
With long black hair
But this girl was ug-ly
I mean her body was through
But after four drinks or more
She looked like Paula Abdul

You know what baby?  You startin to look good
You startin to look REAL good
You startin to remind me of that superstar - Paula Abdul

The party was over
It was time to go
You insisted on drivin
When we said no

Nah guys, y'know?  I can drive myself home man
That ain't gonna be no problem
I drive better when I feel nice (P: Are you sure man?)
Are you kidding me man?
That stuff in there, that stuff in there taste like fruit punch
I could drink that all night

So you got in your car
Swervin on the road
There was a cop in the bushes
On radar patrol
The light turned green
And you decided to stop
It turned red
You took off
And got pulled over by a cop

You overdid it homes
You had too much to drink

Ah excuse me, can I see your license and registration please?
I don't have my license registration right NOW
But if you give me a chance, I can go home and get it
Oh what are you a wiseguy son?
No I don't mean to be a wiseguy officer
The honest truth, what really happened is
I just came from a plane from Dominican Republic
By the time I got to Motor Vehicle, Motor Vehicle was closed
Oh it was closed?
Yeah it was closed
Oh what's your name son?
My name is Frankie Nato, but my friends, they call me Frank B
How bout you officer - whatchu call yourself?
Oh this guy's a real wiseguy
Who's the young lady in the passenger seat?
You don't know who that is?  That's a superstar
Paula Abdul, say hi Paula
Oh yeah that's Paula Abdul?
Have you been drinkin son?
Oh no I don't drink man, the only thing I drink is fruit punch
OK son you wanna turn your car off
and leave the keys in the ignition and come with me please?
Where we goin officer?
I want you to come sit in the backseat
and blow in this tube for me please
Wait a minute, I ain't no faggot
I never blow anything in my life, and don't plan to
How bout you officer - you blowin anything?
Just blow into the tube son
Okay okay man * blows into the tube *

Oh what's this man?  Two point oh?
Oh Guns'n'Roses dude!
You might as well get ?
cause you goin downtown sonny, you're drunk!
So whatchu tryin to tell me officer?
You tryin to tell me that that machine, tell me I'm drunk man?
Somethin wrong with that machine
That machine need a good fixin man
That's what I think officer
No you know what I think son?
I think you need a good lawyer
Let me tell you officer, I have a lawyer
My lawyer is so good, SO SO good
And by the time he's finished witchu, you gonna be workin in Alaska
So dress warm, as a matter of fact
I suggest you go out and buy yourself a sheepdog
Cause it gets BITTERLY cold out there

Have you ever been coolin
On a Friday night
Wit your friends gettin wasted
Just feelin nice
You continued to drink
When you know you should stop
The next thing you know
You're behind is caught
Your body gets numb
So you slow up the pace
Your mouth gets watery
And you can't feel your face
You finally make it home
And the fun begins
You try to pass out
But here comes the spins
So you turn and toss
Then you toss and turn
Your head gets light
And your chest starts to burn
So you lay on your stomach
And you tuck in your chin
Pail by your bedside
Now the breathing begins

Oh, oh God, just let me get through this last one
If you let me make it
If you let me make it through the night God
I promise I'll never have another drink again
I'll never drink again, as long as I live

You overdid it
Hey yo this is EPMD tellin you not to drink and drive
Cause ain't nuttin cool about chillin in a coffin six feet under
YouknowwhatI'msayin?

Yo, this is Frank B
And learn from others mistakes homes!

And don't let peer pressure get to you
Cause it costs you, or your life, or somebody else's life
in the long run

And it's like that
And if you don't believe you can get the bozack
See-ya!
5000