"We have three dogs that love to chew stuff up so we're 
always gettin' them some toys and stuffed animals and 
stuff so they can destroy them. And usually whatever we 
get is shred to pieces within a couple of days. And one 
day I noticed that this stuffed animal that we had 
gotten, they had had it for about a week, had remained 
relatively unharmed, a little bit dirty, but it really 
didn't have any damage. So I was kind of watchin' them 
for the next couple of days, and I noticed that for 
some weird reason, this little stuffed animal seemed 
like they all liked it for some weird reason, it was 
special to them, not only did they not chew it up, they 
sort of made it seem like it was their baby. They 
treated as though it was their own baby, so I thought, 
"this is weird." How strange this is. Of all the toys 
and things that we get for them, for some weird reason, 
this one, it wasn't really any different from the rest, 
this one is picked to be special. So there you go.. So 
some time passed and one day I noticed that this box of 
"big plastic insects," that I had been keeping on a 
shelf in the bathroom, had some how fallen down and 
unfortunately it looked as though the dogs had already 
chewed up most of the stuff in it, the big giant 
spiders, ants, and cockroaches and stuff that were in 
it. And as I walked around the house picking up the 
shredded pieces of these plastic insects I came across 
the... baby... you know, their stuffed animal baby! And 
there it was just torn to shreds, like everything else 
- all the other stuff, finally this one was torn to 
shreds. So later on I came across one of the giant 
grasshoppers that for some reason hadn't been chewed up 
at all, not even as much as a small tooth mark. So I 
watch.. and it occurs to me.. that for some reason 
their affections have changed.. and I can plainly see 
that, instead of the stuffed animal, the big ol' bug is 
the new baby... now."
The big ol' bug is the new baby now

The big ol' bug is the new baby now