Hey girl,
I got somethin' real important to give you.
So just sit down and listen!

Girl you know we've been together 
such a long long time (such a long time) 
And now I'm ready to lay it on the line.
(Wooow) You know it's Christmas,
and my heart is open wide.
Gonna give you something so you know,
what's on my mind.

A gift real special, 
so take off the top. 
Take a look inside,
it's my dick in a box. 

Not gonna get you a diamond ring. 
That sort of gift don't mean anything.
Not gonna get you a fancy car .
Girl you gotta know you're my shining star. 

Not gonna get you a house in the hills. 
A girl like you needs somethin' real.
Wanna get you somethin' from the heart. 
Somethin' special girl.

It's my dick in a box, 
my dick in a box, babe.
It's my dick in a box, 
my dick in a box, girl .

See I'm wise enough to know,
when a gift needs giving (yeah) 
And I got just the one, 
something to show you,
that you are second to none.
To all the fellas out there with ladies to impress. 
It's easy to do just follow these steps!

1: Cut a hole in a box 
2: Put your junk in that box 
3: Make her open the box 

And that's the way you do it.

It's my dick in a box.
my dick in a box, babe.
It's my dick in a box,
my dick in a box, girl.

Christmas,
Dick in a box!
Hanukkah,
Dick in a box!
Qanzaa,
A dick in a box!

Every single holiday a dick in a box.
Over at your parent's house a dick in a box.
Midday at the procery store a dick in a box.
Backstage at the CMA's a dick in a box.
(yeah-wow-wow-wow-wow-wow)
A dick in a box!