(Yo I'm being serious)
Yo, it's the wild wild west
You came to the right place my man
Get ready, here we go

New Shit!
Welcome my friends to the old saloon
Everyone in town is hangin out
If you got a drink, well you drink it down
Then we'll all go have sex with the whoever!

Brand new!

Buffalo Bill, I just rode into town
On my horse, you betcha on a horse
That's the thing in the old west times,
Everyone enjoys a good horse ride

If you cheat at cards ya get thrown out!
Right out the saloon doors on your butt
Go back in and buy a round of whiskey
Guess what? All is forgiven!

DJ LARRY!

Well look who's here, it's Calamity Jane
And you're another guy who's probly an injun!
This whiskey's warm and it tastes like piss!
DJ LARRY!
Oh no! My stash smells like piss!

So that's your story, stickin to it
The old wild west is no place for a lady
I'm the bartender, but I'm also the mayor
So just put that in your pipe and smoke it

DJ waaahaa!

Tiny Tim and it's almost Christmas,
Sure is dusty here.