I was walkin' through the city streets 
And a man walks up to me and hands me the latest energy drink 
"Run faster, jump higher" 
Man, I'm not gonna let you poison me 

I threw it on the ground 
You must think I'm a joke 
I ain't gonna be part of your system 
Man! Pump that garbage in another man's face 

I go to my favorite hot dog stand 
And the dude says, "You come here all the time! Here's one for free." 
I said, "Man! What I look like? A charity case?" 

I took it and threw it on the ground! 
I don't need your handouts! 
I'm an adult! 
Please! 
You can't buy me hot dog, man! 

At the farmer's market with my so called girlfriend 
She hands me her cell phone, says it's my dad 
Man, this ain't my dad! 
This is a cell phone! 

I threw it on the ground! 
What, you think I'm stupid? 
I'm not a part of your system 
My dad's not a phone! 
DUH! 

Some poser hands me cake at a birthday party 
Whatcha want me to do with this? Eat it? 

Happy birthday to the ground! 
I threw the rest of the cake, too! 
Welcome to the real word, jackass! 

So many things to throw on the ground 
Like this, and this, and that, and even this 
I'm an ADULT! 

Two Hollywood phonies try to give me their autograph 
GROUND! 
Nobody wants your autograph, phonies! 

Then the two phonies got up 
Turned out the had a taser 
And they tased me in the butthole 

Fell to the ground 
The phonies didn't let up 
Tasin' on my butthole over and over 

I was screamin' and squirmin' 
My butthole was on fire 
The moral of the story is 

You can't trust the system 

Man!